The untold science of conquering chaos
How I'm using neuroscience to harness a season of intense work and turn stress into a strategic advantage.
Our responses, rather than the events themselves, shape our outcomes. By expanding the space between an event and our reaction to it, we can reduce unwarranted stress, conserve precious time and energy, and cultivate the resilience necessary to not only endure but flourish during demanding work periods.
The mountain I choose to climb
Like many of you, I've been on a marathon sprint since 2024 began, crisscrossing cities weekly to lead workshops and coach leaders while running my business, managing my team, and keeping the sales engine humming. In doing so, I had to face the paradox that haunts us all: our dreams are infinite. Our time and energy are not.
I'm blessed with a circle of friends who reach out to check in on me, asking, "How are you doing?" Reflecting on my responses, I noticed a pattern: "I am exhausted," "Maybe I bit off more than I can chew," "Can I really do this?" My replies were echoes of doubt, questioning my capacity to conquer this mountain.
These reflections revealed a pattern of self-doubt that threatened to undermine my efforts. Neuroscience offers a lens to help us understand this: stress perception can trigger a primal ‘fight or flight’ response through the sympathetic nervous system in our brain. By simply perceiving my schedule as stressful, my brain was reacting accordingly and wasting (finite) energy responding physiologically to that.
Moreover, the emerging concept of predictive coding suggests that our brains continually construct and adjust a model of our environment to predict future events. For instance, if I start to worry that I might fail at something, like I did when I was texting my friends, my brain gets tuned to pick up on any hint of that failure. When I actually struggle or fail in my attempts, my brain might take that as confirmation, embedding the idea that I'm not good at it into my self-perception.
Originally, this mechanism was designed to help us foresee and ready ourselves for potential outcomes. However, in the modern world, characterized by heightened uncertainty, this process can shape our reality in unintended and potentially negative ways.
By simply changing our perception of the things happening around us, we can shift our body into the parasympathetic nervous system mode, promoting relaxation and recovery. This change not only helps us conserve precious energy but also prevents our brains from inadvertently coding a distorted perception that could lead to undesirable outcomes.
Here lies the crux of my story: the power of mindset. If I entertain doubts about my success, I inadvertently pave the way for that very outcome. But by embracing a mindset that focuses on what I can control and expecting success, I can navigate this journey with resilience and positivity.
This story isn't just mine; it's a shared narrative for anyone chasing a dream.
A shift in perception: Stop focusing on winning and start focusing on mastering
When you solely aim to win, you trap yourself in a win-or-lose situation. This black-and-white thinking triggers your brain's stress response (the familiar fight-or-flight reaction) and you’re more likely to fall into fixed mindset patterns.
However, if you pivot your focus towards mastering your craft, you not only leverage the brain's ability to change and grow (neuroplasticity), both success and failure become part of the fabric of growth. This shift allows your brain to develop and enhance regions that are crucial for your expertise and professional growth. In this state of perception, you start acting with a growth mindset. This shift is crucial. Our life is the sum of our choices and those choices, like interest, compound over time.
My mantra for this year is: "Every challenge is a chance to learn and improve." This mindset encourages my brain to view difficulties positively instead of reacting adversely. As a result, I form new brain connections that associate challenges with positive feelings, making me more inclined to welcome them.
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My personal growth blueprint for 2024 (and some actions you can take)
Here are the four areas I care most about getting better at this year and concrete steps I am taking to strengthen and build the areas of my brain that correspond with each development area.
1. Prioritization and decision-making
My role requires a high level of (re)prioritization and decision-making, all of which rely on the prefrontal cortex. The PFC is also crucial for impulse control and managing distractions, helping me to stay focused on what matters most (client impact, content development, empowering my team to enable scale).
What I’m doing to support that: I identified my three Most Valuable Activities* in January and now audit my calendar weekly, and reprioritize ruthlessly. If you’re overseeing a lot of projects, then this will look like identifying your winning aspirations (strategic pillars), doing a quick audit to ensure each project is aligned to those pillars, and reprioritizing those projects ruthlessly (aka, portfolio management). *If you don’t know what your most valuable activities are, take Dave Crenshaw’s Time Management Course NOW. It’s free for a limited time thanks to Microsoft.
2. Emotional regulation
Facilitating groups and coaching can be emotionally taxing, requiring me to manage not just my own emotions but also to navigate and respond to the emotions of others effectively. The brain’s amygdala plays a key role in emotional responses and regulation.
What I’m doing to support that: Using at least an hour of travel time on trains, planes or in the car to immerse myself in Stoicism* through books and podcasts.
*Download “The Obstacle is the Way” by Ryan Holiday (free for Spotify premium users) and listen to it on your commute.
3. Practicing empathy and radical awareness
I work across several companies with leaders and teams at all levels. If I don’t practice radical awareness and empathy (supported by my temporal and parietal lobes), I risk missing the nuanced specificity of the business or individual. This means that even though I might be able to hear a few pieces of evidence and understand exactly what is going on, I must resist the urge to do so because I could miss an important detail that changes how I see their situation. Another thing to keep in mind: if you perceive yourself to be in a position of power or authority, according to research, your ability to empathize decreases. When I heard this, I stood up straight. Empathy is critical for me. It helps me gauge clients’ needs and adapt my coaching strategies accordingly.
What I’m doing to support that: I am asking two more questions before I share my opinion. I am shocked at how this simple practice has helped deepen my understanding of their world and allows me to provide a more contextualized answer. Try it in your next meeting.
4. Adaptability and traveling
Traveling and adapting to new environments engage your motor and sensory cortices. While the physical aspects of travel can be tiring, these experiences also offer rich sensory and motor learning opportunities. Instead of succumbing to the tempting mindset of “woe is me”, I’m challenging myself to use traveling time to engage my brain and learn.
What I’m doing to support that: I now travel with my journal and have a standing prompt that I use to reflect: What is one unique thing I have experienced and/or learned as a result of this trip? This trains my brain to think of traveling as having enriching elements, not just a source of frustration.
I hope this post has been a gentle reminder that the way we think can shape our path more than we realize. By choosing to believe in our success and focusing on the steps we can control, we can climb our mountains, no matter how steep, and perhaps enjoy the view along the way.
Let's not just dream big but also think wisely, for in the power of our thoughts lies the key to our journey.
Keep going 💪🏼,
Stephanie
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Such a good read!!!