Amor Fati: Embracing Fate in Leadership
Finding Freedom in the Illusion of Control
In the ever-shifting landscape of business, we face a peculiar paradox: To survive, we must embrace change. Yet, in our efforts to survive, we often resist it.This resistance is the very thing that can and will block our growth. As leaders, we're caught in a permanent liminal state, constantly at the intersection of change. It's exhilarating. It's exhausting. And it surfaces an interesting truth about our human nature.
When we win, we love it. When we fail, we hate it. Both emotions, however, distract us from our core purpose of becoming the best at what we do. They're reactions that pull us away from the present moment, from the actual work of leadership.
What would you do differently if you weren't afraid of failing? What would you attempt if you knew you couldn't control the outcome?
Enter the concept of "amor fati" - the love of fate. It's a philosophical idea that suggests we should not merely accept everything that happens to us, but love it. Every experience, every setback, every triumph - they're all part of our journey. As a leader and human being, I realize I can't quite claim to have achieved this state, but I aspire to it. And isn't that where all great transformation starts?
In a recent workshop, I asked leaders to list every challenge they face. The list was daunting: economic fluctuations, regulatory changes, budget cuts, shifts in consumer behavior, political instability, natural disasters, interest rates, data breaches, tariffs. Then, I had them categorize these challenges into what they can control, what they can influence, and what they can't control at all.
The results were eye-opening. We have very little actual control. So why do we act like we do?
When did you last make a decision based on what you could control versus what you wished you could control? What are you gripping too tightly right now that might need to be released?
This seductive illusion of control is a comfortable lie we tell ourselves. It's a security blanket that often prevents us from truly growing, from taking necessary risks. We think we need our ego to get us to the top, and then we continue to rely on it instead of letting it go, instead of evolving our approach as the situation demands.
What if, instead, we embraced fate? What if we approached leadership not as a battle for control, but as a dance with the inevitable winds of change?
If we truly embraced "amor fati," we might:
Stop reacting emotionally to outcomes and instead integrate them into our evolving understanding.
Cease trying to control everything and instead learn to ride the waves of change.
Allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully, but not dwell in them longer than necessary.
Which of these resonates most with your current leadership challenges? Where do you find yourself getting stuck in emotional reactions rather than moving toward integration?
This approach doesn't mean passive acceptance. Rather, it's about active engagement with reality as it is, not as we wish it to be. It's about seeing change not as a threat, but as the very essence of existence, the core of innovation and growth.
As leaders, we often try to slow down change, to keep things safe and known. We cling to diminishing returns with an iron grip. But what if our role isn't to control change, but to guide our organizations through it?
How would your leadership evolve if it became less about having all the answers and more about asking the right questions?
In embracing "amor fati," we might find a new kind of strategic thinking. One that doesn't assume things will go our way, but finds the courage to keep going when we don't know what's going to happen. One that sees failure not as a setback, but as a step forward in our understanding.
What failure(s) are you still carrying as a burden rather than a lesson? What would change if you viewed your biggest professional setback as essential to who you've become?
This is the paradox of change, and the challenge of modern leadership. To lead not from a place of fear or control, but from a place of acceptance and adaptability. To love fate, in all its unpredictable glory, and to use that love to drive us forward into the unknown.
As you think about the changes facing your organization right now, which ones are you fighting versus which ones might you learn to dance with? What would loving your current challenges look like in practice?
It's not easy. It's not comfortable. But then again, true transformation never is. And isn't that what leadership is really about?
Keep going,
Stephanie